The Professional Webspace of Designer and Illustrator Kevin Cornell:
"Design, Art, and Lackluster Humor."
Well, I spent this weekend doing freelance work while the rest of you schlubs were outside, enjoying "Sun". I usually shy away from most extracurricular work - unless it's of my own concoction - mainly because I already have a 10-hour a day job. But this was pretty fun stuff, and it was for good money.
Now, the worst freelance experience I ever had, was early in my junior year in college. A lady had contacted a teacher about a freelance job, and he asked the class if anyone was interested. I took the job. It was for a company called Reptaquatics. I don't even remember what it was they did. I think it was just a lady who liked reptiles and opened a massage parlor for them. Or something like that.
Anyway, she had big ideas. I was asked (notice I don't say "contracted") to do some drawings of reptiles and amphibians that she would then use on shirts. And what the hell - why don't you try out some logo ideas while you're at it?
So I spent the next two weeks watercoloring a tree frog. It was a pretty good rendering too, quite naturalistic, considering I'm a rather unpredictable painter. And those logos? Don't worry - I lovingly constructed about 10 precious gems.
So I met with the Reptile lady, and showed her the watercolor, and my logo ideas. But there was a slight problem. She wasn't that interested in the project anymore! Oh dear - what a CRAZY mix up! And the thought of paying for the work I'd done up 'till then never entered her mind. And what's worse, it never entered mine.
I called her once or twice after that, but she never paid me. And I just gave up. I don't even know where that drawing is anymore. But it's alright. We all have to get burned before we learn the right way to do something. I bet the Reptile lady got bit by hundreds of poisonous snakes before she learned how to handle them correctly...
... God, I hope so.
So - got any good freelance stories?
Comments on this Article
There are currently 21 comments.
2. niffer
wow, i have had so many bad freelance expierences its almost odd. the most recent one was about 8 months ago i was working at this coffee shop in town, there were 2 regulars that always came in and just happened to be gay. one day they came in and said how much they loved my drawing that were all over the store....they asked me if i was available for some work. "HELL YES!" i was soo hard up for some art jobs i was all about it. anyway, to make a long story short, they worked for GAY LIFE magazine and asked me to do an editoral piece due the next day. and they wanted me to do a drawing of the gaylife center blah blah...so i had to get to the center after work. draw the place in the dark while adding some twists for the editoral...rush it back...do some stuff on the computer..all ready the next day. they took my drawing...it was printed the size of a quarter and never ever paid me the 75 bucks they talked about. i never saw them again.
ahh gay life.
3.
um, mike, no one likes a bad link. i come to this website as a safe haven, and i dont like corruption dammit.
4. Merritt
So one time this guy wants me to come to his house to make some CMS tags to bring out the specularity of his color scripts and I get there and he's in this robe that's wide open...on second thought, I don't want to talk about this.
-- a couple hard returns for good luck!
5. bearskinrug
I hear you, Merritt - sometimes I get my RT's inverted and client's FREAK out!
8. Vinícius
Well, here in Brasil i have the same problem. A lot of scum bags out there. And here is also really hot. I think we should star doing something. murder maybe? Too much?
9. fu
if it's possible in the right way to let customers pay some money for order.
11. Vinicius
Can you speak a second leanguage? Well, even with my bad english im one step ahead of you. Go to hell.
14. Jason Santa Maria
Wow Murten, your site looks quite a bit reminiscent of Kevin's.
15. gonna be an asshole
ummm...this is a bit beside the point. I love your site by the way. Aren't frogs amphibians? Not reptiles?
Sorry!
16. Murten
Jason, you think so? it resembles a little, but I made mine before I saw this one. After I found this one I thought it resembled too so I stopped working on mine, soon it will be another one.
A friend of mine said I should make my site in a paperway since I made a folder design with a paperish background, so I just used the folder and changed it a bit.
anywayz: I'm no longer updating it, it's gonna be another one soon so...
17. bearskinrug
gonna be an asshole - You've got a good point - maybe that's why she disappeared! :)
Actually, she extended her animal expertise into amphibians, too...
18. Rachael
I didn't take it, but I was offered the chance to paint a 'lovely' mural with a 'South American jungle' theme. Oh, and could I add 'sphinxes', too? I now wish I had done it because it sure would have been fun to whip out those photos as prime examples of my work for the arty elite at cocktail parties...
19. bearskinrug
Wow - it would have been hard to fit those sphinxes in with the Eiffel Tower...
20. Jack Stunzel
I work professionally at a supermarket where I say hello to everyone who walks in the door. But I freelance as a model. One day, about 7 months ago, I was approached with an opportunity to pose nude for a class at the local community college. When I arrived at the address I was given, I noticed the college was not very big. Also, it had three greek letters on the side of the building that did not quite understand. And the fact that it was 11:30 at night didn't help my uneasyness either. What university has class this late on a Saturday? Since I needed the money, I followed my instructions by putting on the bunny suit with no crotch and proceeded to room 219. Upon entering the room, I was greeted by about 25 gentlemen who seemed rather happy to see me. When began the modeling session with me slowly removing my bunny suit (must have been course on some sort of motion-sketching). This was followed with slices of fresh turkey thrown at my buttocks. But it was only when one of gentlemen offered me my fee in advance of the completed session for what he called "Salad Time", that I figured this was some sort of play or rehearsal. Well, not to be outdone, I took the man's offer. To my horror, "Salad Time" was not at all what I expected. Long story short, never accept an invitation to ButtPlug University if you have the chance. Thank you for your time.
21. bearskinrug
Well - you probably should have taken a look at their brochure. It gives you a pretty good idea of the curriculum, and where the school excels.
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1. Mike Perves
Just one.
A small business called MER hired me to translate some of their instructional videos from French to English. This required an english voice-over. The script was translated by the company and one Saturday I was prepared to record the VO. The narrator that was chosen though was obviously only chosen on the strenght of his voice, not his reading skills. Check it out.